It’s Time to Change Our “Have To’s” to “Get To’s”

4 months ago | Mental Health

By Joy Stephenson-Laws, JD, Founder

You are back at work after a long holiday weekend. You are faced, yet again, with the never ending to-do list:

I have to go to work.

I have to fill out my kid’s forms for school.

I have to clean out my refrigerator.

I have to workout.

I have to prepare meals.

I have to go to the DMV.

I have to make a budget for my finances.

I have to declutter my home.

I have to write those thank you notes.

I have to send in that application.

I have to. I have to. I have to!

The list goes on and on. It always will as long as we are living and evolving.

I don’t know about you, but all the “have to’s” can make me feel overwhelmed and anxious. The good news is there is a simple but powerful tool for combatting this cycle of stress. It’s all about changing the narrative in your head, which, honestly, is one of the most important actions you can take in your daily life. Change the “have “to’s” to “get to’s.” For example:

I get the privilege of going to work and making money. I get to choose my job and my career.

I get to provide my child invaluable experiences by completing the necessary forms to enroll my child in school and other programs.

I get to clean out my refrigerator, and I get to have an appliance for keeping my food cold and preventing it from spoiling. I get to have a refrigerator full of food.

I get to workout and move my body and give it the love it needs and deserves. This also serves my mental health.

I get to prepare delicious, nutrient-rich meals and honor my mind and body by giving them the nutrients, such as vitamins and minerals, that they need.

I get to go to the DMV, because I have a car and a reliable mode of transportation.

I get to make a budget so that I can spend responsibly and meet my financial goals.

I get to declutter my home so that I can make this sacred space my sanctuary.

I get to write thank you notes, because I have such kind, generous and loving people in my life.

I get to send in that application, because this amazing opportunity has come my way that I get to pursue.

You see how powerful that is?

This completely changes the perspective. It puts you in the gratitude and abundance mindset as opposed to feeling victimized and frustrated. I invite you to put this into practice right now. For example, if you need to take your dog to the vet you may usually write as a part of your to-do list: take dog to vet. Instead, write: I get to take my dog to the vet. I get to have this wonderful companion that I love so much.

Yes, this takes a little more writing and time, however, think of it as a gratitude and to-do list in one. I can almost guarantee your attitude and approach to the day will change.

(pH must-read – Be Proactive and Aware Of Your Thoughts)

We are never going to conquer stress.

Stress will always be in our lives, but the good news is that how we approach it can make a big difference not only for our mental health but also physical.

“Many studies show that people prone to negative emotions have a higher risk of heart disease. Negative emotions are associated with the release of stress hormones and a physical stress response, resulting in a higher heart rate and blood pressure,” according to Harvard Health Publishing.

Our thoughts and emotions are so invaluable to our overall life experience, yet we often ignore them or don’t work to change them for the better. In my opinion, mental fitness is just as important as physical fitness. Furthermore, if you are mentally fit the more likely you will also be physically fit. Our thoughts can control our actions which can then result in our daily habits. If you are a negative thinker, the more likely you are to eat poorly or disrespect your body and health with habits such as excessive drinking and smoking.

According to a study published by the National Institute of Health (NIH), “Negative emotions would reduce inhibitory control dependent on the prefrontal cortex, which seems to induce people to be more likely to eat unhealthy foods or drink uncontrollably.”

It’s normal and of course very human to experience negative emotions and thoughts, but I think it is imperative to try not to dwell in them.

Manage your stress. Fill your cup.

As mentioned, stress in our lives is not going anywhere. It ebbs and flows and most likely there will be seasons of very stressful times versus periods that are less turbulent. I always stress (pun intended) stress management as an imperative part of a proactive healthcare routine.

To learn more about effective ways to manage stress, I highly recommend checking out Practicing Mindfulness May Be What’s Missing From Your Proactive Health Arsenal. I also want to encourage pH readers to absorb the blog Turn Disrespect For Ourselves to Self-Respect. I always say that one of the greatest forms of self-respect is maintaining an unprocessed, whole foods diet and getting routine nutrient tests in order to identify any nutrient imbalances or deficiencies. So many of us do have deficiencies and imbalances for a variety of reasons, such as age and absorption issues, but a nutrient test will pinpoint the issues. From there, a competent healthcare professional can suggest dietary changes to address nutritional issues and also if necessary recommend quality supplements.

Go write that I get to-do list and see how it changes your day.

Enjoy your healthy life!

Disclaimer: This article is not intended to provide medical advice. Please consult with your doctor or another competent healthcare practitioner to get specific medical advice for your situation.

The pH professional health care team includes recognized experts from a variety of health care and related disciplines, including physicians, attorneys, nutritionists, nurses, and certified fitness instructors. This team also includes the members of the pH Medical Advisory Board, which constantly monitors all pH programs, products, and services. To learn more about the pH Medical Advisory Board, click here.